Friday, April 25, 2008

Why can’t I just be more of a buddy? (Originally posted on MySpace on Tuesday, October 11, 2005)

Now, don't get me wrong here. I really really respect the amount of energy Becca has for her friends. She has, for those of you that don't know a few, shall we say, "needy" friends. They take LOTS of energy to deal with. Way more than I could ever muster, that's for sure. But somehow she always picks up the phone, always goes out of her way to do little things for them and help them out and so on. I don't know where she gets the energy from. I mean she works long days and busts ass and then comes home and listens to a long parade of whining and babbling and somehow has the patience to really LISTEN to all the drama and bullshit and really care...I mean really care...not just you attention, but honestly give two shits.

Anyway. I'm not really like that. I come home from work and I don't want to deal with anybody. I want to do my own thing. I am really bad about getting back to people...and unless it's someone who's really important to me I sometimes have to be called two or three times before I get back to some people. I hardly go out with the "guys'. I always screen my calls. It's just what I do. I have to many "friends" who just want me to trouble shoot their PC problems or help them figure out their taxes or some other crazy shit.

Because of this I have avoided really getting close to anyone at THQ. I just know that I won't have time to hang out extra-ciricularly. I have missed lots of parties at Eric Weiss' house...I have never been over to Drew's...hell I think even Keller's been over there and he and Drew are like the sheep dog and the wolf in the old Warner Bros. cartoons. Anyway...I feel kind of guilty about all this...kind of. But then Saturday comes around...and it's my only real day to myself...and I just want to be alone. I don't want to have to deal with work shit. I don't want to have to do shit for other people ...I just want to do my own thing.

It sucks cause I have been really missing Patrick lately, but our schedules just don't line up...oh well. I think that it means I have sort of sold some good friends short. Like Travis from the starbucks days. He was a great guy and I really wanted to be buddies with him...but I just didn't have time to be a "drinking buddy" anymore...I can't spend all night over at his house playing Halo or Madden...I just don't ahve I never did, and I think that we never really became the buddies we could have been. The same can be said of the guys in the Mastering Lab, all of whom I could see my self on some level hanging with outside work...but I don't cause, I just have time.

Well anyway. Becca has been real nice to this new girl at her work. This girl just moved into town with her boyfriend from boston. And the guy has this horrible job at Jiffy Lube that he hates. I started talking with him about gettting into the video game industry. But I really set myself up for the hurt here...He is a nice guy...but the guy is basically total not wired at all and it's basically impossible to get a video game job unless you have internet access in your house and are able to check email, write and send resumes electronically, and manage a resume on an online jobs site like So I was laying all this out and I said I'd try to get him an interview at THQ. But I didn't really realize that the guy was checking his email at the library and he would need some MAJOR hand holding in order to get him a job.

Becca sort of offered up my assistance to this, "you can come over and use our computer and Ryan can help you." I don't think she realized that that was basically setting me up for my ultimate pet peeves of 1) having to explain something that is tediously obvious to me and 2) having to provide computer related assistance to someone. I just don't have the energy or patience or the basic desire to be this guys know?

And it's tough, cause Becca means well. She's just trying to do the right thing and help these kids. And it makes it hard cause the girl at work goes, "Chris called Ryan again and he never called back...oh well." and then Becca comes home and goes, "You should at least call the guy." and then I'm stuck...I mean I'm only even giving this guy the time of day because of Becca. If she wasn't presuring me I wouldn't call the guy and I wouldn't even think twice about it. I mean if I don't have time to hang out with my best friends like Patrick etc, what makes this guy think I can be bothered to spend time being a jobs counsellor? Huh?

I mean on a basic level the only thing we have in common is video games and for those of you who don't know, I'm an elitest. I don't want to talk to some schmuck about video games... casuse, well I'm a fucking professional. I mean I'm sure my dad wouldn't want to sit and talk to everyone he meets about tax laws all day long because for one thing that's his job and for another it will always be a one sided conversation. I don't mind talking to people about video games. I love video games...but i hate falling into a rut where evertime I see someone, it's ALL we talk about cause they just think of me as "that guy that works at a video game company". It was the same with acting...I hated how all my actor friends just talked about agents, and movies, and acting got old after a while.

Well that's how it is with this guy...he talked by ear off about video I'm sitting here's not enough I have to endure this nerd talk all day at work...but now I gotta sit through it here too? and I just wanted to get away...but now I'm tomorrow MORNING i'm getting up early and I"m gonna help this guy with his resume...and take one for the team and be a "good" guy.

AAAAAARGH!!! I"m getting frustrated just thinking about it.

Don't get me wrong though...I know I'm fucked up. I can't explain it. I'm just selfish and anit social, and a jerk, and I have time for who I have time for and if Becca pressures me to give you the time of day I might make an exception...but outside of that...your shit out of luck pal...

on a side note we had Choco washed and he smells great.

Oh and Becca got a nice leg waxing and that is also great. ;)

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