Andrew HErman’s guide to dealing with your pinko friends (originally posted on MySpace on Dec 6, 2006)

For two long years now he's endured and been the Robert McNeil to My Jim Lehrer. In fact it was his fantastical stories of intrigue and romance that inspired me to start blogging in the first place. Lately his blog output is falling off a little bit (most likely due to the fact that he has a grilfriend now and doesn't need to spend to much time on the Ol' internet). But for those of you just joining us here is a retrospective of Comments leveled at me by the Kudos Mad Screenwriter from the Reddest State in this fair nation, Andrew Herman:

I told Hugh about your delightful internet journal entries during our last match of squash at the club two weekends prior. He made me promise we would drink a mint julip in his honor at our annual Independence Day festivities, but alas I was indisposed.

Posted by Andrew on Friday, July 08, 2005 at 11:49 PM

Back in my prospecting days I spent many a moon under a lean-to next to 'ol Topaz Lake. Some say there's Indian gold hidden up there. I heard tale of many a gringo finding a piece of it, then coming to an untimely end. Cursed says the old timers. But I don't believe in any of that mumbo jumbo. I'm keeping the necklace I found and nobody is gonna . . .What's this? Hold on for a second. It seems someone is knocking at my door. Well it isn't so much a "knock" as a "scratching/ gutteral growl". Anyhows, let me go see who it is first, then finish this post. BRB as they say . . .

Posted by Andrew on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 at 11:28 PM

May I shower accolades upon your Father for his exemplary performance in the field of robbing tha kradle. I was dating a 16 year old once, so I know how he feels. . . Although I was 17 at the time so maybe I don't. Food for thought. KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDOS!

Posted by Andrew on Wednesday, July 27, 2005 at 11:49 PM

Could you do me a giant favor and stop posting thingss like this on the INTERNET. My "associates" and I have put allot of time and work into our gas scam. You can understand why they are breathing down my kneck when they see a friend of mine linking Dickster and Dub to the oil companies. While I enjoy your prose I beg you use a little less candor.



Posted by Andrew on Sunday, September 04, 2005 at 8:19 PM

We're gonna fight the battle of Antietam next weekend, maybe this time the South won't lose as many of her braves young men. You in? And yes, we'll let you be General Lee this time.

Posted by Andrew on Saturday, September 03, 2005 at 3:14 PM

Does this mean you aren't going to join my fantasy football leauge? I figured we could each buy a copy of the new Madden and replay all the games that are player every week, thereby recreating the entire season.

Posted by Andrew on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 at 12:59 PM

What about Rhapsody?

Posted by Andrew on Saturday, September 24, 2005 at 4:35 PM

A shinning example? TWO KUDOS!!!!

Posted by Andrew on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 at 8:45 PM

I was going to make fun of you for using tester languege in real life context, but that would make me a bit of a hypocrit. We spent the last month using terms from W.O.W. to relate to the real world. I hate myself right now. KUDOS!

Posted by Andrew on Sunday, March 05, 2006 at 11:21 PM

As far as the first paragraph: Aaaahhahahahahahahahahahahah

Posted by Andrew on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 at 9:50 PM

Were you called into the office for blogging? Also, thanks for ingoring my marriage proposal.

Posted by Andrew on Wednesday, May 17, 2006 at 11:38 AM

Oh come on Arnold, you have to admit this has been my most hilarious caper EVER.

Posted by Andrew on Monday, June 19, 2006 at 9:25 AM

I must disagree with your offhand comparison of POTC2 with the works of Howard Phillips Lovecraft. The legend of the Kraken predates Lovecraft's works by a few centuries. Further, while I will ignore the fact that Cthullu was a god like entity that answered to no one, and the Kraken was obviously under the power of Jones (or whoever possessed his heart), is it not more likely that Lovecraft derived his description of Cthullu from the old world descriptions of the mightyy Kraken beast? For further insite you might want to check some of my latest fan fictions entries on the Lovecraft message board, you rember the one you are too "Post-Anne Rice Horrorist" to visit.

Posted by Andrew on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 at 11:22 AM

Did you leave out the DVD set of the short lived Rush Limbaugh television series because you already got it, or because you knew I would buy it for you anyways?

Posted by Andrew on Friday, September 08, 2006 at 3:41 PM

How about a pacman rip off, based on a scathing critique of today's political climate. The head of George W. Bush could travel around the maze, eating oil dereks, only to be chased by likenesses of George Soros and Ariana Huffington. Judging from the world of warcraft message boards, this is the kind of high brow humor today's mainstream gamer is clamoring for. CLAMORING.

Posted by Andrew on Friday, September 01, 2006 at 2:06 PM

Maybe I can sell you the rights to my Cos-Play MMORPG idea.

Posted by Andrew on Thursday, August 31, 2006 at 10:21 PM

I'm sure you'll come around and understand the "right" (ha ha) point of view after perusing some of the fair and insightful political websites/blogs that I read. For an unbiased take on these topics start at www.rightwingnews.com. If you want to delve a little deeper into way the main stream media has skewed these topics you could hop over to www.ohthatliberalmedia.com.

For lighter fair you can always scan the forums at rightnation.com, or read the delightful citizensmash.net.

Don't worry, after a while you'll feel all right (lol, i love that joke!)

Posted by Andrew on Saturday, September 30, 2006 at 9:30 AM

Gears of War? More like Gears of Bore, ha ha HA. Anyhow, stop fooling with those lame console games and enter the warm embrace of WoW.

Posted by Andrew on Friday, November 10, 2006 at 9:16 AM


Then of course there was the following Flame war he started after my Ladytron post...that one had the a record 15 comments...wow! Let's take a look:


Did you know that Stephen Colbert is gay? I was talking to one of my Comm proffesors in college about Strangers with Candy and he was all, "you realize the whole cast, except for the chick, are gay?" and I was like, "ohhhhhhh, really?" True story.

Posted by Andrew on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 9:22 AM


Stephen Colbert is also married and has two kids. Not to mention, he's not really a republican. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Posted by AaronFlux on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 11:25 AM

He's not a republican? What are you talking about?!?!?!? Obviously you haven't seen the Colbert report, because on that show he really gives it to the Dumbocrats and their Smellfare programs everyday.

Posted by Andrew on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 12:32 PM


Well, he's still hot in my book! I like gay republicans and now they'll be crying like babies in the new 'House o' Reps'...GO BLUE!

Posted by BECCA on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 9:57 AM


Yeah we really handed it to those republicans...and what was there first move...hell not even 24 hours after the election and Rumsfeld already cut and ran...

Posted by T. Ryan on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 1:12 P

Obviously, none of you are paying attention to what Steven Colbert is saying! He is an Independant who identifies with Republican idealism, and he strongly supports the president...but he doesnt really like either side. Sure he makes fun of the democrats, but he also makes fun of Mark Foley and Donald Rumsfeld. And as for the gay/straight thing, he has spoken out against gay marriage many times, its that he claims he doesnt see people in terms of COLOR...

Put that in your pipe and smoke it! I freakin' loooooove that show...

Posted by Trojan Girl on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 1:23 PM

What I was trying to say was that "as Steven Colbert sees no color...I see no sexuality...". I didn't realise all these guys were such Colbert-o-philes...still in Andrew's defense I believe he was being ironic...but I could be wrong...

Posted by T. Ryan on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 2:16 PM

You can identify with Tori Amos? Whenever the Mode listens to her, I'm reduced to screaming, "What the hell is she talking about?!!" Pants in her hair, happy sky diamonds, freckles fainting- I cannot translate her Crazy Talk, even with the help of my ovaries.

Posted by Emma on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 8:42 PM

That's the whole point...she's made a carrer out of being suffocated by those who don't understand her..I mean half the time I'm talking to the guys in the Mastering Lab about renewable energy and open immigration policies I might as well be saying "pants in my hair" I realise that "People don't understand me" is kind of a teen angsty experience...but that is probably why I haven't actually listened to Tori Amos for several years...although I did by the Box set at a Tower that was going out of business...and I mean to listen to it...someday.
Posted by T. Ryan on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 2:16 PM

When did strawberry shortcake get so HOT?!?!?!?

Posted by Andrew on Thursday, November 30, 2006 at 3:41 PM

Must be nice to have access to not one, but TWO of those fancy new Xbox 360s. I spend my time drawing pictures of what I think video games look like in this smooth patch of dirt behind the apartment.

Posted by Andrew on Tuesday, December 05, 2006 at 9:42 AM

So you're gonna spend all the target money on me, right? Jesus said it is better to give than receive, and since you haven't shown up to bible study in a while I thought I should remind you . . . KUDOS!!!!

Posted by Andrew on Friday, December 01, 2006 at 11:56 PM