Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Top 10 alternatives to "Slave Leia".

Now, maybe someone who has gone as "Hunter S. Thompson" for the last ten years has no room to judge, but Halloween is coming up and you know what that means.

Fucking Slave Leia costumes. I don't know why, but I am so sick and tired of slave leia costumes. I'd rather see a parade of Jugglos tromping down santa monica than one more slave Leia.

The polar opposite of the slave leia is the Silent Hill Zombie nurse. These will never get old and are always the best choice for any alterna-chix who are stumped what to whear on the Halloween Party Rounds:

But what if you were a Silent Hill nurse the last three years? Why not dust off the old Slave Leia you might be thinking. First things first. Stop. Quit winding up your hair buns. I have an alternative. Here are my top ten alternatives to Slave Leia.

10. The Witch

Alright, plain and simple. This one is a fucking classic. You can not go wrong with a sexy witch. And I'm talking a "Wizard of Oz" style pointy hat witch, not a sassy pre-teen witch like in Harry Potter. There are some "sexy" harry potter hogwarts costumes out there. But those give me the serious "ut oh feeling" so don't go there.

9. The Geisha

This one is not just for the AZN CHIX. You walk into a party, you will turn heads.

8. The Nun

Another classic. Let's say your really dedicated to the goth scene like a few people on my friends list who will remain nameless (but you know who you are). This will allow you to wear a costume, but not feel to "normal" when you head out to the Malediction Halloween victorian ball.

7. The Gladiatrix

Personally I think if you covered yourself with blood spatter and walked around with a big sword this costume might move up a few spaces.

6. Bat Girl

I really debated on this one. I mean the obvious choice is Harley Quinn, but most of the costumes I could find (see the link) were all aimed at tweens for some reason. Not sure why, are there any 12 year old girls out there clamouring to be HQ? The other alternative was Cat Woman. But that's borderline Slave Leia lame, especially when half the costumes are based on that horrible cat woman movie from a few years back.

So yeah, Bat Girl. A classy alternative. Especially if you can get one of your tattooed hipster chix friends to go as Robin.

5. Ghostbuster

Paula Veinkman, Edna Spangler, Rachel Stanz, Wendy Zedmore? You and three of your friends walk in wearing these and it's pretty much "game over" for any other poseurs trying to walk away with the costume contest trophy at the bowling alley come halloween.

4. Jessica Rabbit

The main aspect of this costume that makes it a winner is that it involves red heads. The more red heads at a halloween party is always better in my opinion.

3. Silk Spectre (Modern)

What can I saw, If you've got the moxie to walk around in this thing all night then I'd say this is the last Halloween costume you ever need to buy. I mean look at this thing. Fucking Silk Spectre, giving the Mai Shiranui Cos Players something to wear on the 2nd day of Comic Con.

2. Silk Spectre (Classic)

Oh yes. This is secretly my number one. But officially it's number 2, for political reasons. Damn, this is maybe the greatest costume of all time. Maybe even better than the Zombie Nurses.

1. New Hope Princess Leia

But of course, the die hard Star Wars chix are going to have a hard time putting aside a costume that gets them so much attention from the neck bearded counterparts. So here is an alternative. The Sexy "new hope" leia costume. It's classy and will still allow for plenty of photo ops with all the darth vaders, han solos, and Jar Jar cos players partying down at Universal City walk.

Bonus Halloween Story

When I was a kid, my mom made me the sweetest Han Solo costume. It had a bad as vest and a holster and the whole bit. It was amazing. I was so excited for weeks to wear it. Unfortunatly, for me my 2nd Grade Teacher went as Princess Leia. Not Slave Leia, but the hoth snow leia. The one that kisses Han. so the whole day everyone was teasing me and telling me to kiss her. God it was horrible. Maybe that's why I hate slave leia so much.

Anyway, most of these costumes should all be available here, so do us all a favor and leave the gold bikini at Jabba's this year.


Fucking internets. I should have seen this coming. The google ads in my feed all point to this:

I'm part of the problem. Sigh.

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