What the shit it up with all these crazy kids? Originally Posted on MySpace Friday, August 19, 2005 )

Let me start off by saying :

Don't worry Christian...this isn't aimed at you. You're one of the people who I'd think of from time to time and feel pretty sad I'd never see again...you, Manual Viramontes, Dave WArmerdam, Tom "Siderburns" Dominico, and maybe even Mr. Keith, and maybe one day I will see you again when you get out of the fucking ARMY and come over to my place for a few pilsners and a couple of dogs...

I'm getting a lot of random emails and adds from old high school chums...It's crazy how far your life can advance from one day to the next. I mean some of theses people I thought I'd NEVER see again. some of them I was sad about and others...maybe not so much. Even most of the college friends I have haven't really gotten on board with the whole "giving up acting" thing. They all go...oh, well I mean I'm sure you'll do something eventually because you're too talented not to. Well wake the fuck up, jackasses!!! I'm not gonna do shit. I might make another movie for fun...but it will be the same as when I finally dust off all those keyboards in the closet and record another album...for fun. I will never be a famous rock star and I will never be a famous actor. BUT I WILL NEVER EVER HAVE A FUCKING DAY JOB I HATE AGAIN!!! It's like I will live and love my life and be way happier than if I sacrificed everything for the sake of some dipshit casting director putting me in his movie so he can finish the day and get his fat ass down to spaggo's or some shit. Having talent is meaningless...being an actor is all business...it's all nepotism....and being in the right place and beautiful at the right time.

Well I don't know what that has to do with old friends from High school...but maybe it's this. Everyone plays like a role in their life...and all these people like they knew me then...and I feel like I'm a totally different guy now...so much life under the bridge...and I look at those pictures from my 10 year high school reunion and I think...fuck all these people are the same just fatter and one day closer to dying. And it makes me sad...like I could never go back to that fucking hanford reunion cause I have no real reason to...I might want to go back to Hanford and kick around for an afternoon and go, "boy this place has changed". But the guy that all those folks knew is, I'm afraid dead and buried under ten years of a well lived life...