Why don't more bands kick ass like the Pixies used to ? (Originally posted on MySpace on Monday, August 01, 2005)

OK. Another weekend with to much to do. So I didn't update the blog. So shoot me. Lot's of going on and what not.

First up, It's Jeff's birthday today and it looks like I won't be going. Mostly because I work until 9PM ...we'll see. Honestly I wouldn't be suprised if those guys just up and stopped calling me all together. Actually I was thinking about Jeff and in turn the whole UCSB crew and it made me sort of sad. But not sad in a "Where has all the time gone...we've drifted so far apart." but more the sadness that a drug addict must feel when they think about some friend they left behind and maybe sort of feel guilty for stealing that guys wallet before they stick the needle back in and kiss it all goodbye. We'll that might be a bit much...but somewhere in between. I mean I feel this sense of Apathy. I have known fee people in my life as long as I have known the UCSB gang. And honestly I'm just apathetic. It's not that I don't miss those guys it's more that I'm just not all that MOTIVATED to spend my precious few hours of free time with them. Does that SUCK?

Becca is really good about spending time with her friends. I'm not. It was different when we were in college because none of us had (serious, fulltime) jobs. AND we all lived in walking distance from each other. I remember one drunken night back in Santa Barbara, I was hanging out with this chick who was a drama major, but not a BFA type...she was I think a playwright or something and we were having one of those quiet type moments that I have sometimes and wish I could have more of and she said something like, "It must be nice to be surrounded by all those people you love so much. The BFA seems like such a supportive bunch of folks." And I was pretty jaded at the time and so SICK of acting that I literally tried my best to throw the last few auditions...but to no avail....and I said, "Actually the majority of these people I would NEVER be friends with if I wasn't around them so much and when I get out of school I don't plan to be friends with them for too long."

Don't get me wrong...the core group of the Masterbatorium, namely Jeff, Jerry, John, Patrick...and by extension Zand, Steve, Joe, etc. are all people who I do like. And I love spending time with all of them.

And I think that the reason I don't hang with them is that there is a certain level of SNOBBISHness about them. They're all so into indie rock, and TV and all this shit that I honestly don't care about...and they're also intellectual elitests. It doesn't bother me personally but I feel sort of self concious when they are around say...Becca or Aaron I sense this sort of dissmissive attitude. It may not be intentional...but it makes me want to hang out with them less. College was essentially BULSHIT in every way. It's in excercise in figuring out what some crazy professor like JUDITH or TOM want and then giving it to them. But the thing I HATED most of all was the sense that there was some importance to the fact that we were intellectuals or something. Man I hated it. And I hate bringing Becca around it because it embarases me. It's hard for me to describe but that is the kernel.

Another big thing I missed this weekend was my 10 year highschool reunion. It was on Saturday. On friday I knew I wasn't going to go and spend 100 bucks when the thing wasn't even happening in the same TOWN that I went to school in. People in Hanford might think it's posh to party in Visalia...but I want to go back to where I went to high school...I barely give a shit about Hanford...much less Visalia. So I RSVP'd that NO I wouldn't be going...and it made me feel sad...but I'm sure that that information helped someone plan some lame party event. Maybe I'll go for the twenty year anniversary and it will be held in Fresno or something like that...and by the fifty year the thing will be held in New York City.

Also I had a big fight with Becca. It was pretty awful. Lots of screaming and so forth. Aaron was a good friend and stayed and talked with her when I stormed off and I think that helped. When I finally came home I was ready to talk and we talked about a lot of stuff and if felt really good. I really love her and I hate it when we fight...but sometimes communication is strained and wires get crossed. We worked it out though. I'm just a little sensitive and she's used to me joking around all the time.

Becca is probably beating the last boss on God of War right now...hopefully I can get home and see the closing cut scene. That game is AWESOME. The Batman Begins game sucks though. EA sucks...they haven't put out a good game since SSX 3. I hope they go the way of Acclaim. THQ kicked your ass this quarter EA...JUICED rules...who cares about Madden!!! Not me.

Anyway. Glen is on vacation which means I have a lot of work to get back to.